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Infidelity/Cheating Spouse

 

If you suspect infidelity in your relationship, you have the right to know the truth. Our private investigators at Legal Eye Investigations understand the difficulty and emotional toll of suspecting your loved one may be cheating on you, and our agency will be there with you every step of the way, providing you with the answers you need. 

When dealing with a cheating spouse or an infidelity situation, it's entirely reasonable to ask questions like, how or why is this happening to me?  Was it something that I did to cause him/her to cheat? 

 

Our professionally trained private investigators will discreetly and proficiently investigate your case with respect and integrity while providing you with the evidence you desperately need, allowing you to put your mind at ease and assist you in dealing with the situation efficiently. Don’t let an undiscovered lie become the truth, know the facts.

Legal Eye Investigations offers a free and completely confidential consultation. To learn more, call one of our Maryland licensed private investigators at 410-921-5804 or fill out our form INFIDELITY/CHEATING SPOUSE FORM.

How To Prove Adultery

 

We get a lot of questions from potential clients about proving adultery in the state of Maryland.  They want to know “What does adultery in Maryland consist of?” “How do I get the evidence I need?”  

 

Let me start by saying, this in no way constitutes legal advice of any kind and I am not an attorney. This is simply my professional opinion as a private investigator based upon years of experience conducting adultery investigations in Maryland. 

 

So where was I? 

 

There is often a misconception that the cheating spouse needs to be caught “in the act”. While this makes for great television and high suspense, the reality is that the standard in Maryland is relatively low.  In my experience working with family law practices, the standard to prove adultery in Maryland is the proof of Disposition and Opportunity. Proving adultery in Maryland requires the presence of both standards.

 

In Maryland, Disposition is simply some affectionate act between two parties.  We generally categorize disposition as the behavior displayed toward the paramour ( an illicit lover, especially of a married person) that would most likely be expected to be displayed toward the spouse. This could include holding hands in public, cuddling, kissing, and of course making out. Again, the standard does not necessarily have to include proof of a sex act.  If it does, that proof significantly strengthens the case against the cheating spouse.

 

Opportunity is simply that, did the cheating spouse have the opportunity to commit the act of affection toward the paramour? Proof of opportunity is best satisfied by catching the cheating spouse and paramour in the same place at the same time, and it is reasonable to believe that they could be acting in an affectionate manner.

 

For example, in an instance where the suspected cheating male spouse meets a female for dinner at a restaurant, they exchange embraces and a kiss on the lips, and at the end of dinner, they go their separate ways, which probably would not satisfy the disposition and opportunity.  However, in the same scenario if the suspected cheating male spouse then follows the “friend” to a hotel across the street, is subsequently observed entering the lobby elevator together, and is observed several hours later leaving the hotel alone, it is reasonable to believe that he had both the disposition and opportunity to commit adultery. 

 

Now the tricky part – hearsay is not considered proof. You actually have to obtain legally collected evidence documenting the actions of the cheating spouse in Maryland to prove disposition and opportunity. If you aren’t quite sure on how to go about that, we can certainly help.  I would, however, caution against taking matters into your own hands as you could unintentionally break some laws which could land you in hot water.  Unlicensed, non-professional, or DIY private investigators could easily break privacy laws, harassment laws, and stalking laws; which could result in civil and criminal prosecution.

If you suspect that your partner is committing adultery, call Legal Eye Investigations, LLC. We are a Maryland-licensed private investigations firm providing results-driven investigations. Contact an investigator TODAY by using our convenient, 24/7 online contact form or calling our office at 410-921-5804.

Do You Need An Infidelity Investigator?

 

There are a number of tell-tale signs that your significant other may be cheating. Always trust your gut, only you know what is normal for you and your partner. Many times that “Gut Feeling Or Instinct,” you have suspected for days or even maybe weeks, is a sign that something is wrong or off between you and your spouse. 

 

As an experienced and licensed Maryland Private Investigator that specializes in Infidelity Investigations, I have worked numerous cases on the matter. I have seen it all firsthand. The subtle signs. The body language of a cheater. Of course, nothing is absolute and the behaviors listed are only indicators of a cheating spouse. If you can answer YES to any of the signs below, reach out to one of our private investigators to discuss your potential case.

  • A sudden increase in unfamiliar phone calls.

  • Your spouse leaves the room to answer his or her phone. 

  • Guarding or hiding their phone, computers, etc. 

  • Deleting emails, and text messages, or ignoring incoming calls from the same number.

  • Frequent business trips out of nowhere. 

  • Coming home late or leaving work earlier. 

  • A sudden improvement in their grooming habits or appearance. 

  • Going to work functions alone. 

  • They are locking their computers or phones. 

  • Surfing the website on dating sites and porn.

  • Less affectionate towards you, becoming emotionally distant.  

  • Coming home from work freshly showered or going straight to the bathroom when arriving home. 

  • If your spouse becomes angry or critical. 

  • Becoming defensive when asking questions.

                                                                                                    Let's break it down...

 YOUR GUT INSTINCT

 

  • Having to ask yourself that question in the first place is a tell-tale sign of possible infidelity.

  • Your spouse stops confiding in you or asking you for advice.

  • Your own gut feeling is telling you something is not right. 

 

 BEHAVIOR THAT IS OUT OF CHARACTER

 

  • When your partner shows up without their wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why. This also goes for jewelry you might have purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when they go out when usually they wear it at all times.

  • When they appear distant, show a lack of interest, or develop an unexplained aloofness that wasn’t there before.

  • When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason; they have erratic behavior.

  • When your spouse suddenly starts completely ignoring you and not listening to what you are saying -OR- when they suddenly begin to treat you extremely nicely…more so than usual. (Yes your spouse will sometimes treat you better than usual when they are having affair - to help release their guilt or have you ignore your suspicions). 

  • When they encourage you to have a social life and go places out of town, it seems like they’re trying to get you “out of the house.”

 

 SAFE SEX PRACTICES

 

  • You find birth control (and you had a vasectomy). 

  • You find condoms in the car or house (and you have had your tubes tied or a hysterectomy).

 

 CLEANING HABITS 

 

  • When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath and they work an office job.

  • When he or she has worn the same fragrance for years, and suddenly they are wearing something new.

  • When your spouse’s clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave used by the opposite sex

  • When he or she leaves the house in the morning smelling like their usual fragrance and returns in the evening smelling like something else.

  • When your partner starts taking better care of themselves. 

 

 NOW THEY SEEM UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND YOU

  • When your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.

  • When your spouse avoids social events with you.

  • When your spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence, because either they know about the affair or have heard horror stories to justify it

  • When your mutual friends start acting strangely toward you because they either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible spouse you are.

 

 THE ELECTRONIC WORLD

 

  • When your spouse sets up a new e-mail account and doesn’t tell you about it.

  • When your husband or wife suddenly deletes all emails from the email account (and it’s not just a clean-up) and in the past they used to let them accumulate.

  • When they delete an email the minute it comes in, and then delete the trash to make sure you don’t see it.

  • When your spouse all of a sudden spends a lot of time on their emails. 

 

 CELLPHONE

 

  • When your spouse buys a new cellphone and does not tell you about it.

  • When your spouse starts deleting voicemails and messages.

  • When they suddenly start deleting their caller ID information.

  • When your spouse set’s up a separate cellphone bill.

  • When you are not allowed to look through their phone or use their phone and if they do let you use it they erase their history, put it in guest mode, stand there and watch you or appear to text someone before handing it to you. 

  • When your spouse is secretive about their cell phone and it is on their person 24/7, and they are on it talking or texting that whole time.

  • Constantly all of a sudden texting one of their friends (it could be what they named their new lover).

  • When they have a password on their cellphone all of a sudden. 

 

 COMPUTER SIGNS

 

  • When they stay up to “work” or “play a game” on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

  • When your spouse will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room.

  • When they use password protection on their computer or laptop.

  • When your spouse has unusual sites showing in the “browser history” (such as “AdultFriendFinder” or “ashleymadison”) or erases their history after each late-night session.

 

 YOUR HOME DYNAMIC CHANGES

  • When your spouse raises hypothetical questions such as, “Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time?”

  • When they have a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry (and they never have before) and it’s like they’re trying to find or hide something.

  • When he/she shows a sudden interest in a different type of music that they really disliked before.

  • When your spouse loses attention in the activities in the home and seems forgetful, distracted, or like they don’t care.

  • When he/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home…including the children.

  • When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc. They might turn this around on you at the same time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the child/children badly.

  • When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.

  • When they sleep on the sofa some nights.

  • When you two don’t go to bed together and they tell you not to wait up when you have always done so.

  • When your spouse suddenly asks about your schedule more often than usual–wanting to know where you’ll be and when.

  • When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect, or excessive sarcasm. Or they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify their affair.

  • When your spouse is exceedingly critical and sometimes mocks you.

  • When your spouse becomes “accusatory,” asking if you are being true to him/her, usually out of guilt.

  • When they begin to speak more and more harshly to you or are more sarcastic. Sometimes this is just an attempt to justify their cheating…or to give them an excuse to storm out of the room/house.

  • When you notice that they are reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection and/or criticize you for showing attention.

  • When your spouse ignores or criticizes your loving behavior and thoughtful ways. Example: “Why are you so luvy duvy? I’m just not like that.”

 

 THERE ARE EVEN MORE CHANGES

 

  • When s/he joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program and “hated” exercise before.

  • When your spouse buys new, sexy underwear and you never see it.

  • When they have a sudden preoccupation with their appearance.

  • Her: When she gets spiffed up and dresses provocatively to “go grocery shopping” or to “get her hair done.” She may also show up with a sudden change of hairstyle. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.), and dresses up more than usual to “go out with his buddies” or to “go fishing.”

  • When your spouse begins to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style.

  • When you find receipts for clothing or gifts you never received. 

  • When he or she is supposed to be at work but their play of employment calls as states otherwise. 

 

 PHONE MANNERISMS ARE DIFFERENT

 

  • When your spouse receives “mysterious” phone calls that don’t seem to make sense–and when you ask who called, they say, “No one”, “Wrong number”, or “Why do you care?”

  • When YOU get an increasing number of hang-ups or “wrong numbers” when you pick up the phone especially if the caller hangs up after hearing your voice and doesn’t speak. Generally, when a person dials a “wrong” number, they will at least ask, “Is Fred there?” before hanging up.

  • When your phone bills show unexplained tolls or long-distance charges. Often you’ll find one phone number listed excessively.

  • When s/he hurriedly picks up the phone to answer it before you do.

  • When they leave the room to talk on the phone.

  • When your spouse whispers while on the phone.

  • When they behave differently or end the telephone call abruptly when you enter the room…or appear to hang up quickly.

  • When your spouse tells you to get ahold of him or her at a different telephone number (they don’t want you calling while they’re with their new spouse).

  • When your partner is at work or out and you call him or her and they answer but quickly hang up when someone else can be heard talking or when you call them and they are whispering or acting strange like you are just a friend. 

 

 VEHICLE BEHAVIORS

 

  • When the passenger’s seat is adjusted differently than you had left it.

  • When your spouse takes the child seat and/or kid’s toys out of the car for no particular reason.

  • When you find suspicious items in the car like phone numbers, receipts, lipstick, condoms, or strange hairs in the vehicle.

  • When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.

  • When you smell a different cologne or perfume in the car.

  • When your spouse starts getting angry if you leave anything that belongs to YOU in their vehicle. 

  • When the car has unexplainable mileage or a lack of additional mileage. For example, if your husband states that he went out of town yet the odometer indicates that only a distance of 25 miles had been driven. Conversely, if he says that he’s only been to the office that day, yet their odometer shows many more miles had been driven, this too, maybe a significant matter.

  • When s/he “goes to the store for groceries” “goes to get some gas” or “goes to the bank” (a task that should take just a few minutes) and comes home 5 hours later.

  • When you notice increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the number of miles on the car.

 

 WE GOT PAPER TRAILS

 

  • When you find credit card receipts for gifts you didn’t receive -OR- your credit card bills itemize gifts you didn’t receive (such as florist or jewelry).

  • When you find the credit card receipts showing purchases from places unknown to you or that seem suspect -OR- when your credit card bill itemizes odd places.

  • When you see an increase in ATM withdrawals on your bank statement, especially those from out of town.

  • When you find ATM receipts bearing a time/date stamp from a city you don’t recognize. [Cheating costs money! To play you must pay.]

  • When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or open up a new P.O. box perhaps without even telling you.

  • When unusual phone numbers appear on the phone bill.

  • When the duration and time of the calls on the phone bill appear excessive.

  • When they are secretive about their cell phone bill or they start to pay it themselves.

  • When you notice business travel or other deductions on their expense account for travel or other expenses of which you were not aware.

  • When you find a receipt or get an email for a hotel stay but you never stayed there on those dates. 

 

 INTIMACY ISSUES

 

  • When s/he is no longer interested in sex, or s/he makes excuses for its infrequency.

  • When your spouse starts to request kinky or other erotic sexual activity (behavior) that you’ve never done before, including watching porn.

  • When they show a “new talent” in the bedroom (that they might have learned from the individual with whom they’ve been cheating).

  • When s/he appears reluctant to kiss you or show affection toward you.

  • When your spouse continues giving poor excuses for why they’re not in the mood to make love.

  • When they have unexplained scratches or bruises on their neck or back.

  • When s/he suddenly wants more sex, more often.

  • When they stop having relations with you but you catch them pleasuring themselves.

  • When you have seen that they are taking seductive photos or videos of themselves but you never receive them.

 

 WORK-RELATED ISSUES

 

  • When s/he works longer hours, more frequently

  • When they supposedly work a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

  • When they change their established routine with no apparent reason.

  • When s/he begins discouraging you from calling him or her at work.

  • When your spouse is often “unavailable” when you try to call him or her at work.

  • When they return calls long after you leave a message for them.

  • When s/he prefers to attend work functions (or any events) alone and tries to discourage you from attending.

  • When your spouse takes more trips for business reasons and even refuses to let you drive him or her to the airport.

  • When you find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work – but supposedly worked on those days.

  • Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

  • When the amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

  • When they are late home from work and always have an excuse ready.

  • When s/he claims to be stressed with work problems when questioned about their odd behavior.

 

 THINGS THEY WILL SAY

 

  • “We are just friends.”

  • “I need you to respect my privacy.”

  • “I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You.”

  • “I need some space to figure out my feelings.”

  • “That is my work husband.”

  • “That is my work wife.”

  • “I would never do that to you.”

  • “Eww, no I could never be with him/her.”

  • “You’re just being paranoid.”

  • “That is crazy, why would you think that?”

  • “You are acting crazy.”

  • “I am leaving, I can’t deal with this right now.”

  • “You always wanna pick a fight.”

  • “Nothing is going on, you are insecure.”

  • “It’s not what it looks like.”

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